Flow

When I first started this blog, I never thought of making any small changes. I was going to follow the step of the Great Program-think and his attempt to build a community to fight against Chinese Communist Party and awaken the Chinese citizens. What I realized later, is that I was always focusing too much on thinking and deploying new fancy ideas in these websites, but had already forgot that the real important thing is to get things done and to really start writing something. I remember back to my senior high school age, at the very last late night self study session, I would give myself a break from mathematical assignments or daily homework and go to learn something interesting or just relaxing. Maybe I was being too priviledged as I always had a good grade back then, and this misbehavior was always tolerated by my teachers. I can still remember after a long relaxing and cheerful summer vacation I came back to school with an empty assignment book of Literature - I never liked Literature, Chinese Literature because I felt like I never understood the true idea or emotion of the aurthor. Luckily, I was quite good at Mathematics and English, which somehow were more important as the exam requirements are transforming Chinese into a subject much more closely related to the politics, making it a subject quite dull and unfavorable.

Ever since I was in my junior high school, like it was grade 9 or 10, I learnt something special, that was not taught in the class or talked in the public. It is about the sensitive political situation and so many heavy reality of the country. They say I was too young to understand it. But I still remember how some of the Internet services gradually went unavailable, and how I manage to accees it using some tools. I never thought that was something quite unfair, it is more like a game between me and the Internet provider, as some clever hackers from Paul Graham’s book would play. Then the Covid came, right at the year I was about to go to college.

I must say a great amount of things have changed, both the world and myself, as I was struggling to learn to be an adult, take college courses and live in a whole different city. You see, I was growing up in a southern city where the coolest season is just above 10 Celsius degree (50 F) for 3 days, and the university is located in a place where freezing winter can dropped below -15 Celsius. My college life was never an easy one because I have chosen a wrong major and have suffered the whole 4 years to try to accept it. I became to spend too much time on video games, as many of the semesters ending up with quarantee in school dormitories and online open book final exams. After that 4 years, I realized that many dreams of my early age have now become far more distant than I thought that cause me into a real desperate end.

As I mentioned earlier, this blog was intended to follow up Program-think’s blog and maybe some day it will become another great blog not only for myself, but will also inspire many others. I am now changing my idea - this blog is only for myself and is intended to share some notes of my study in the technical field, but I don’t know, maybe some day later I will change my mind again, just like Program-think did in 2009.